


Three Hundred

by writer_bird



Category: snonk
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, M/M, Rated T for swearing, clearris sucks, emix first kiss, felix POV, only 298, we didn't make it to 300 really so it's okay, wow so this was very angsty, yay felix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:48:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26619220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writer_bird/pseuds/writer_bird
Summary: Clearris sucks. Emix's first kiss. Lots of angst.For you Jig <3
Relationships: Felix West/Emory Hayes
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Three Hundred

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jerybird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jerybird/gifts).



Felix was shaking. They hadn’t felt this level of pain in a long, long time. They still remembered, crumpling to the ground, the look in Jamie’s eyes, the morbid fascination as xe watched the blood drip off the glowing sword, before everything had gone dark.

They slipped in and out of consciousness. Every time they sank into the darkness behind their eyelids it was a blessing, because they could  _ forget _ . Forget the pain. Forget the fear. Forget the memory that pounded along with their heartbeat.

Emory’s shout as the pain exploded in Felix’s chest. The pain in his voice.

Their heart thudded. Quite dumb, actually. Didn’t it know the blood wasn’t intending on staying in their body?

They didn’t know what was going on around them. The few times consciousness decided to show its face, the pain was too great to focus on anything but the  _ fucking goddamn pain _ .

They thought they heard Asra’s voice at one point. Through the fog in their head, the screaming of their lungs as they scrabbled for breath, as their pulse thundered, every time stabbing pain.

Consciousness came again. It still hurt,  _ fuck it hurt _ , but there was more clarity, because Felix had realized something.

_ Where was Emory? _

Every inch of their body was on fire. They thought they might have just said something out loud, but they weren’t sure. They could barely hear anything-  _ goddamn they couldn’t think _ .

They were fairly certain they were swearing out loud, but that could have just been their pulse.

Was Asra talking? That was definitely her voice. What was she saying?

They heard the tail end- “Felix what the fuck happened.”

Felix wanted to laugh but that would definitely hurt.

Felix’s eyes were squeezed shut.  _ Fuck it hurt _ . Emory. Clearris. The dogs. They knew. They knew. They knew.

“Fuck- go- Emory-” Every word was agony but they forced it out. “Dogs.”

“I can’t let you die,” Asra said.

Didn’t she see?

Was she blind?

They were dead anyway.

“ _ He’s  _ going to die,” Felix hissed.

Asra said something in response, or maybe she didn’t. Felix didn’t know. The darkness tugged at them again and goddamn did they want to give in to it, just to get rid of this excruciating-

“Fuck Jamie,” they hissed.

The pain in Emory’s voice.

A voice from far away - Asra still? Maybe? - told them to put pressure on their wound. They wanted to laugh.  _ How _ ? Didn’t she see how big it was? Didn’t she see how slippery blood could make  _ everything _ ?

They tried, nonetheless.

_ Pain _ .

They couldn’t decide which was worse, this, or the time that-

Felix felt themself shutting down. They were dying. There was no question about it.

This time was worse. Definitely.

Emory was probably dying and there was nothing they could do about it. “Go-” they gasped. “Go help- Emory-”

_ Please, Asra _ .

They couldn’t die like this. Not when Emory-

They couldn’t.

Asra still wavered, and Felix spat, “ _ GO _ .”

“All right,” Asra said. “Don’t fucking die on me.”

Felix could laugh. They could kiss her. They knew they liked her, despite the emotions thing.

They chuckled, just a little, despite the fire that raged in their chest and the blood that coated their hands and shirt and arms and everything. “I’ll fucking try.”

But there was no-

reason-

to stay-

The darkness enveloped them.

  
  


And then they returned to consciousness.

Abruptly. Viciously.

With a voice.

Clearris’s.

“You.”

Just that one word, and Felix was dragged back. They weren’t done.  _ Emory _ .

“The one bleeding out,” Clearris continued.

Vaguely, Felix realized that they were talking to them. Hm. It was still better than  _ worm _ . 

Clearris continued. God, Felix hated their voice.

“I wonder. How loud can you scream?”

Pain. 

Exploded.

Everywhere.

It was no longer in their chest, in their stomach, it was in their head, stabbing stabbing burning fuck fuck fuck-

Felix knew that they screamed. Black spots danced in their vision and for a minute, two minutes, three minutes, they couldn’t breathe, how long was this, how much more could they take,  _ a person wasn’t supposed to feel this much pain, how were they alive _ -

They tried to claw at Clearris, to  _ get them away get away please just stop please please- _

That pleasant voice again. Flat. Dead. “I enjoy even numbers. Multiples of ten. Whole numbers.” A pause. “Do you?”

Felix couldn’t breathe.  _ Don’t let them see don’t let them see don’t let them see-  _ “What are you- on- about?” The words gasped out of them but they were proud. They weren’t dead. Yet.

They heard a shout. It sounded like Drace. The dragon person. Felix could barely see, the spots of blackness were dancing across their vision and everything was spinning, but they felt Clearris stand.

“Three hundred. An excellent number.” They turned and said something to Drace but Felix

didn’t

hear

a word.

Three hundred.

Three hundred.

_ Three fucking hundred _ .

They remembered. Emory.  _ Emory _ .

_ They killed me, yes. Two hundred and ninety-six times. _

The flatness in his voice. So much worse than the stuttering.

Their entire body was rigid. All they saw was Clearris. The smug face. The pleasant voice.

Felix knew precisely what they were planning.

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

Clearris smiled. The edges of Felix’s vision was blurring but  _ they were not going to black out fucking now _ . “Why don’t you wake up your glowing friend?”

Felix saw Crystar out of the corner of their eye. “No-” they couldn’t breathe again. “What are you going to do-”

Felix only heard some of what Clearris said, but it was enough.  _ It was enough _ . “I’m very angry at Emory… It’s good that I have an outlet for that anger.”

_ Three hundred _ .

“You- fucking- monster-” Felix tried to stand up.

A mistake.

How was it possible for the pain to triple like that? Everything went black. 

When it cleared, or maybe it didn’t, maybe they were dead and this was all just a vision, when it cleared, there was fire.

Felix, pure instinct, twisted away from it, sending spasms of  _ no fuck you _ through their body. God it hurt.  _ Why weren’t they dead. _

Clearris didn’t seem bothered by the fire at all.

And then Felix knew.

_ Three hundred _ .

Felix glared up at Clearris from the ground. “Me.”

Drace screamed in the background but Clearris just looked down at them. “What?”

“Me,” Felix said. “Instead.”

_ Three hundred _ .

Clearris tilted their head. “And why would I do that?”

_ Come on, Felix. This is what you’re good at _ .

They knew how to do this. They were an expert. They just had to- they had to-

but they couldn’t.

They weren’t thinking clearly.

Everything was spinning. Their head ached, the darkness dragged at them, their chest was on fire, there  _ was fire _ , and they-

just-

couldn’t-

think.

They still tried. “I don’t know, because- because you’re-”  _ Fuck _ . “A pathetic- bastard who-”  _ Fuck _ . “Hates- fuck, who-  _ fuck _ .”

Clearris stepped back to avoid an attack from Drace. Their eyes were still fixed on Felix. Considering. “You’d really hurt Emory like that, Felix? Interesting.”

Felix would have smirked if they remembered how to. Felix. Not  _ Worm _ .

_ Three hundred _ .

“I- you’re the one- who’s hurt-him.”

Felix could cry. Words were their one weapon. The one thing that never failed them. The one thing they could always rely on, always use. A diversion, a weapon, armor, and now they were  _ failing them _ .

Just then Crystar woke up.

_ No _ .

Clearris looked at her. Felix wanted to hurt them. “Oh, good. You’re awake. Now tell me. Would you rather heal your friend Felix, or your friend Emory?”

Felix didn’t hear Crystar’s response. At that moment white fire billowed around Clearris’s back, from Drace no doubt, and the elf turned slowly to face away from Felix.

They tore their eyes away from the white fire still burned into their vision to look at Crystar. Their hand, wrapped around their side, did nothing to help the wound that screamed at the movement.

“Crystar,” Felix said. They had to get this out. Before Clearris turned back. “Don’t you fucking dare pick me, I will kill you.”

So Emory  _ was _ dying.

And Felix

could do

nothing.

The darkness tugged at them again, and they relented. Just for a minute. The pain dulled. So did their thoughts.

But too soon they returned to reality. Painful,  _ painful,  _ reality. They didn’t know how long it had been, but when they looked over, they saw Emory.

Good.

And fucking awful.

He was alive.

And Clearris was walking towards him.

“Did you know? That she was there?” they said.

“W-w-what-”

Felix could murder this elf. If they didn’t die first. The latter was much more likely. They had never felt pain like this.

Their voice was shaking. Fuck, everything was shaking. Spasms? Probably?

But they said it anyway. “Leave him alone.”

Clearris didn’t listen. “Jaydin. She was there. Ten, fifteen times?”

_ Fuck them _ .

The pain on Emory’s face was evident. Felix’s heart was roaring in their ears. They saw Emory’s mouth move, say,  _ what _ , but they couldn’t hear anything, nothing nothing nothing.

Sound came and went in waves. They heard Clearris perfectly clearly one second later. “It's very interesting. Because I've been presented with a dilemma.”

Emory. His  _ pain _ .

Felix tried to stand up again. Still a mistake. They didn’t know that the  _ hurting  _ could be so all consuming that even their teeth jittered. “ _ Shut your fucking mouth _ .”

The pain was too much. The darkness grabbed Felix by the throat and dragged them under again, choking. They slipped in and out again. Glaring.  _ Clearris. _

The elf had to die.

A hand landed on Felix’s wrist. Crystar. They barely noticed it. Barely noticed it when the pain, slowly, bit by bit by bit, began to recede.

Emory had a look on his face.

Felix knew that look.

They hated it.

“Fucking hell, whatever the fuck it- it is you’re don’t-”  _ What was he doing please no please no please- _

The pain kept receding. Felix didn’t notice. Everything was buzzing. They couldn’t hear a word anyone was saying. But the look on Emory’s face.

“Emory,” they gasped. “Don’t-”

_ Three hundred. _

Crystar was helping. It was helping. They tried to stand up and everything spun. The ground rose up to meet them.  _ Fuck _ .

And then Emory said it.

“I’ll stay. Let the rest of them go.”

“No.” Felix didn’t know if they said it out loud or not, or if they shouted it or whispered it, but there it was, and it hurt, and  _ no you can’t- _

The fear in Emory’s face when he had entered the room for the first time, when the adrenaline from throwing the dog had faded.

Staying here would kill him.

Every part of Felix screamed to get up, to  _ help him fuck you you’re useless, you’re  _ nothing _ , you can’t do anything, he’s going to die and you can’t do a goddamn thing and you’re weak and- _

“F-Felix just wait, I'll be done soon,” Crystar said.

Their heart was thundering in their ears. Jamie was pointing the sword between Emory and Clearris now. When had Jamie appeared? The darkness threatened Felix again.

And still that stubborn look in Emory’s eyes.

_ Three hundred _ .

“Emory if you do, I will never forgive you,” Felix hissed out.

Emory didn’t look away from Clearris. Felix could scream.

“Do. you. accept.”

_ No fuck no fuck no fuck no fuck- _

Crystar gasped beside them. “F-Felix... I'm done, you're healed…”

Clearris said something but Felix didn’t hear, they were moving, they were up, they were in between Emory and Clearris.

Their words were fire. Venom. “Offer retracted.”

“Felix, NO!”

They might lose Emory. They knew if someone did this to them, they’d never forgive them.

But Felix didn’t care.

They weren’t allowing this. Not to them.

“Yes,” Felix said. “You don’t choose for me.”

“I’m not letting them near you,” Emory said.

Jamie stepped closer, driving the sword into the ground. “Does it have to be one of them.”

Clearris looking so  _ goddamn amused _ . “ It can be anyone. Anyone at all.”

“Can it be me.”

Everything. Frozen.

Clearris, even, took a moment. They responded slowly. “Blood is blood.”

“I’ve destroyed everything,” Jamie said. “Give me a chance to fix something.”

“Jamie, NO,” Emory said. Emory.

_ Three hundred _ .

Felix had to keep Clearris away from him.

But Jamie-

Felix glared at Jamie. “Ethan wouldn’t want this you absolute fucker.”

Other people were talking but Felix didn’t hear. They only had so much they could focus on, and that was  _ Emory. Clearris. Jamie _ .

“Ethan is dead.”

Felix was searching for something, something, anything.  _ No more death please no more death _ . “The fuck happened to marka. they're a literal necromancer.”

Jamie didn’t look at them.

“Jamie. Jamie. Look at me.”

“I got you into this,” Jamie said. “I’m going to get you out.”

“JAMIE!” Felix was shouting. Why were they shouting? They didn’t care.

_ Please no more death _ .

Clearris, Drace, Asra, they were all talking, all pleading with xem, but Felix didn’t look anywhere else, just looking at Jamie. “Jamie for God’s sake  _ look at me _ .”

Jamie smiled at Felix, a pained smile. For an instant Felix flashed back. Jamie’s fascinated smile, Felix’s own blood dripping off the blade, them crumpling, Jamie’s grin.

“Please let me fix this for you,” Jamie said.

_ Nothing can fix this. _

_ Emory. _

_ Gods. _

_ Three hundred. _

“No,” was all Felix said. “No, there’s a way to do this that no one dies.”

_ Please, gods no more death. _

“You hate me,” Jamie said. “If you lose me no one loses anything.”

Like the blackness had strangled them and hurled them into unconsciousness, so did Jamie’s words choke Felix, throwing them into a memory.

_ You’re nothing. You wouldn’t be missed _ .

“No one needs to die,” Felix choked out.

And then.

Emory.

Whispered. Something. To Clearris. Felix could see how tense he was.

_ No. _

_ NO. _

There was nothing, no more Jamie, no Asra, no Crystar, just Emory, and Clearris, and Felix.

Clearris was smiling. “You want that?”

_ Please god no. _

Felix couldn’t stop him. And right next to them, Jamie was plotting to sacrifice himself.  _ Who to help, oh fuck oh god oh fuck oh shit, please god no more death _ .

Felix was stiff. This person was the cause of all of their pain. Every inch of it.

But they couldn’t take any. Death.

They walked over to Jamie. “Give me the sword.”

“FELIX!” Asra screamed. They ignored her.

Clearris’s voice came through the pounding of Felix’s heart in their ears. “Starling, heal Emory.”

Felix looked at Jamie. Deadly quiet, they said, “Give me the sword Jamie, or I swear to god I will take it from you.”

Jamie handed it to them wordlessly.

Felix turned. Clearris was watching them.

“Hand me that sword. Now.”

_ Three hundred. _

_ No. _

“No.”

“Okay,” Clearris said.  _ Why were they looking like that _ . “Emory, come with me.”

Felix’s

world

broke.

_ Don’t show it don’t show it don’t show it don’t fucking let them fucking see _

Their voice barely shook. “Also no.” Clearris didn’t look at them. “What are you going to do?”

Everyone was shouting. 

Felix stared at Clearris. “What are you going to do.”

Clearris turned and headed towards the house. “This will be much more pleasant if you give me the sword!”

And Emory

was

following

“Emory,” Felix said. “Stop.”

Jamie was saying something. Felix really couldn’t find it anywhere within them to care.

“I can fix this,” Emory said. “Trust me.”

_ Three hundred. _

No.

No.

_ No. _

The sword clattered to the ground, slipping out of Felix’s slack fingers. They took the last three paces necessary to reach Emory and grabbed him by the shoulders  _ avoid the arm avoid the arm avoid the arm- _

Their voice came out in a harsh whisper. It was all they could manage. “I will never forgive you if you do this.”

_ Three hundred _ .

Emory swallowed. “You don't know what I'm doing. I promise you.”

_ Three hundred _ .

“You’re not getting to three hundred,” Felix said quietly. “Not on my fucking watch.” They looked away from Emory. To Clearris. “You like multiples of ten? Bet it would be interesting to get to ten for the first time.”

_ Please anything take me instead please not him please I can’t let him be hurt I have to stop it- _

Emory hugged Felix. Felix wasn’t expecting it, but they didn’t flinch away. They also didn’t look away from Clearris. “I'll be back soon. I have something I need to do.”

“No.” Felix’s voice wasn’t shaking, mainly because they were just- so- empty.

_ Anything but this no please no please _

_ not three hundred _

Clearris ignored them. “Are you coming, Emory?”

Emory took a deep breath. “I am.”

Everyone was screaming. Shouting.

Pain like nothing else rushed through Felix.  _ They couldn’t do anything _ .

In an instant, Emory pressed his lips against Felix’s forehead. “I’ll see you soon.”

_ At what cost? _

_ Three hundred. _

_ God. _

_ No. _

Felix grabbed his hands. “Please. Stop.”

Emory was shaking.

_ God he’s so scared how can he do this why can’t I help him I’m useless I’m helpless fuck fuck fuck. _

“No,” Felix said. “If you're coming back then I can too. You don't- fucking hell. Stop being so damn noble.”

_ Let me help you please god please. _

“This is something I have to do,” Emory said. “It'll -- it'll fix things. and then I'll come back and -- and we can leave. Clearris will leave us alone.”

Felix was cold everywhere. “What are you going to do. I’m not letting you go until you tell me.”

Everyone was still shouting. Felix’s body was shutting down. Shock, probably. They didn’t care.

Emory took a deep breath and whispered to Felix. Felix really only processed one of the words.  _ Jaydin. _

They reeled back. “What-  _ why _ ?”

“Because then- then they’ll have their human, and it’ll fix what- what happened before- and-”

_ God he still thinks it’s his fault. _

Emory wanted this. So badly. Felix could see it in his eyes.

They couldn’t let him.

_ But what could they do? _

They were shaking. “Fucking hell. I don't know what the right thing to do is. You don't- for god's sake, Emory, you don't owe her anything. people die-”

Tears slid down their face.

The first time they’d voluntarily cried in front of someone since they were six.

“Just let me. you don't need to fucking get any more fucking hurt - fuck fuck  _ fuck.” _

People moved around them but for all Felix knew it was just the two of them. Eye contact. God it hurt.

“It's not about owing her anything,” Emory said. “It's about-- Clearris will let me go. They won't keep searching for me. They won't need me. I have to do this.”

_ Three hundred. _

_ No. _

Felix turned to Clearris. “Same exact deal you made with him, with me.”

If Emory could do it, so could they.

_ Three hundred _ .

“No.”

“Why not?” Felix hissed.

“Because Emory is already all set up for this.”

The words cut.  _ No _ .

“No. NO. I reject that.” Felix was still holding Emory’s hands. They wouldn’t let go.

Clearris was still smiling. “You can reject it as much as you want. Let me have my time and I'll leave you alone.”

_ Have my time. _

_ Three hundred. _

_ Emory. _

_ No. _

_ Please. _

Felix’s body wasn’t under their control. It was shaking, their breaths were gasping as much as they had before Crystar healed them, please please please. “Please. Please. No.”

Emory turned and snapped something to Drace. Felix hadn’t even heard her say anything.

“It’s going to be okay,” Emory said, turning back to Felix. “I promise. I’ll be right back.”

Felix just looked at him.

_ Three hundred. _

_ I can’t stop this. _

_ Gods. _

_ Emory. _

They lurched forward and kissed Emory, surprising themself almost as much as him. 

“Come. Back.”

Emory reeled back, eyes wide for an instant, then kissed them back. “I will. I  _ swear _ .” He took a deep breath. Stepped away. “Wait for me.”

Every part of Felix was shaking. Their hands were cold without Emory’s hands in them.

And Emory followed Clearris into the house.

Everyone was screaming. Asra put her fist into a tree.

Felix just sat down. They wrapped their arms around their knees.

“We’re not losing him,” they said, voice so soft they didn’t know that anyone heard. “He’s coming back.”

_ Three hundred _ .

Felix was going to kill Clearris.

  
  



End file.
